in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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