It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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