Sponge bath it is.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
