i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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