How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
