If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Boobs speak an international language.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Randomize
