Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
