Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
