Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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