I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize