swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
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