Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
