Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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