she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
