This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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