after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
