Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize