Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize