he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
