And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
