I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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