Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
