I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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