so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
