You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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