This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
