First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
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