Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
