just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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