We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
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