How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
