Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
