Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize