Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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