How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
