Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Randomize
