I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
