Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
