I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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