i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
