hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
