She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
