Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
