when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
