Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize