so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I made him laugh his dick is mine
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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