Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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