my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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