So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize