..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
