her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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