We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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