She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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