remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Welp...herpes.
She bit a glass in half.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
