Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
he was CRYING into my vagina
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
My vagina just clenched in fear
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
