Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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