So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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