oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
