It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
