Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
