i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
