So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
