P.S. I can't hear my feet
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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