paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
