so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Randomize
