She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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