Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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