He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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