I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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