Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
