I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
